Bruins 2015-2016 Superlatives and Not-so-Superlatives

NOTE: The following means absolutely nothing if Zdeno Chara is out for any length of time.

With the Bruins season a mere two weeks away (opening night against the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets is October 8), there is no time like the present to run down a quick list of Bruins superlatives, and not so superlative, for the year. Note this is totally tongue in cheek and my own opinion, so there. Without further ado:

Team MVP

Patrice Bergeron. Duh #1. He’ll improve offensively over last year and continue to play some of the best defense you’ll see from a forward. If he gets hurt, forget about it.

Team LVP

Going with Chris Kelly here, mainly for the hideous contract and also for stuff like this:


Most Surprising 

Ryan Spooner. Fresh out of Claude’s doghouse and given a shot mainly because of David Krecji’s injury, Spooner performed well at the end of last year. That will continue with regular ice time and more PP time this year. Count on 40-50 points from Spooner this year as he feasts on other teams’ third lines and D pairs.

Least Surprising

David Pastrnak. This kid has star written all over him, and also “gets traded to Dallas for next to nothing in two years” as well. Kidding. I think. Anyway, everyone seems to be counting on a big year from Pasta, and the Bruins will need it.

Most Missed Player from Last Year

Greg Campbell. KIDDING.

It’s got to be Dougie¬†Hamilton. Duh #2. Say what you will about his want to be in Boston, or his locker room presence (of lack thereof), the Bruins will miss him on the PP. Unless Colin Miller or Matt Irwin pick up the slack. Which is entirely possible based on the preseason.

Least Missed Player from Last Year

Milan Lucic. There is no way the Bruins were going to pay Lucic upwards of $7M per year with declining production, or even if he had a relative bounce back year. And in trading him the B’s now have two 1st round picks in the draft, one of which is San Jose’s which could be a good pick if that team continues its Dumpster Fire ways. Also, this, thanks to Yahoo’s Ryan Lambert:

“And yet Lucic has just 49 goals over his last 207 games (0.24 per), compared with 56 in his previous 160 (0.35 per). That’s obviously a huge decline in production over a sufficiently long period of time to lead to asking questions about the long-term viability of The Idea Of Milan Lucic versus Actual Milan Lucic. Boston certainly saw something in his recent performances, plus a few other considerations, as reason to cut bait.”

Who Goes at the Deadline

Let’s go with Chris Kelly again, mainly due to the contract and the fact that some playoff team will value him for his leadership and defense. Also, Malcolm Subban goes in a bigger deal thanks to the Bruins’ new found goaltending depth.

Who Comes at the Deadline

Screw it. Dustin Byfuglien.

Hot Take:

So, so many choices. Claude gets fired? Could be, but how’s this for a HOT TAKE: The Bruins will sign Steven Stamkos in the offseason.

Do the Bruins Make the Playoffs:

Yes, barely, as a 7 seed. Oh, and they upset their 1st round opponent. Again, the goes to hell if Chara is out for any length of time.



Lifelong Bruins fan whose hockey career peaked in high school. Now a hockey dad.

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